Would you like some chocolate?

I feel like a child in a kindergarten classroom
walking over to every child’s desk holding up a big box
filled with the finest chocolates in the country.

And every desk I go to, I smile brightly at my friends
I look in their clear wide eyes and join in their playful smiles
And say “my Daddy said I could share these with you”.

I don’t understand why their smiles turn into scowls.
They glare at me and scrape the paper off my box…
Daddy said this might happen. I forgot to ask Him why.

I’ll ask him when I go home.

But I’m not yet done here.
There is time for the bell to go.
They might yet turn and ask.
They might yet look and smile.

They might even accept and bite into the chocolate instead of biting me…

Little People Funnies

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
-PJ O’Rourke

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Some children’s answers to church school questions -

• Noah’s wife was called Joan of Arc.
• Henry VIII thought so much of Wolsley that he made him a cardigan.
• The fifth commandment is “humour thy father and mother”.
• Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
• Holy acrimony is another name for matrimony.
• The pope lives in a vacuum.
• The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of the sea sick.
• Iran is the Bible of the Moslems.
• A Republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible.
• Abraham begat Isaac and Isaac begat Jacob and Jacob begat twelve partridges.
• The native of Macedonia did not believe, so Paul got stoned.
• The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
• It is sometimes difficult to hear what is being said in church because the agnostics are so terrible.

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A child went to his Hebrew school teacher with a question.
“What is it?” asked the teacher.
“Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel
crossed the Red Sea, right?”
“Right.”
“And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”
“Er–right.”
“And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”
“Again you’re right.”
“And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians,
and the Children of Israel fought the Romans,
and the Children of Israel were always doing something
important, right?”
“All that is right,” agreed the teacher, “so what’s your question?”
“What I wanna know is this,” demanded the kid,
“what were all the grown-ups doing???”

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Enjoy. Resting in the Lord this Sabbath G’night.